Maybe I’m a Martian: A Better Way Handling What People Say

People say all sorts of things about me.

“You’re smart.”
“You’re lazy.”
“You’re kind of intense.”
“You’re chill.”
“You’re Icelandic.”
“You’re weird.”
“You’re so right.”
“You’re so wrong.”

It’s like the world is throwing name tags at me in a snowstorm. Some stick. Some fall off. Some end up on my cat (who, to be fair, does have big Martian energy).

But here’s the thing: every time someone says something about who I am, I’ve learned to run it through what I call the Martian Test.

Let me explain.

Let’s say someone says to me, “You’re Icelandic.”
Well, sure. I’ve got the passport. I’ve seen the baby photos. My fridge is half full of skyr. That checks out. Feels like a fact.

But then someone else comes along and says, “You’re a Martian.”
Wait, what? That doesn’t sound right. I don’t have green skin. I’m not part of a secret alien mission to study Earth (unless it’s really secret, even from me).

Still… now that I think about it…
Do I remember being born?
Do I have irrefutable proof that I’m not, in fact, from Mars?

Nope.

So here’s how I look at it:

When someone says something about me — anything at all — I ask myself:
Is this like saying, “You’re Icelandic”?
Something that feels grounded, makes sense to me, and probably lines up with the story I know about myself?

Or is it like saying, “You’re a Martian”?
Something that feels off, maybe a little wild, maybe even hurtful — but ultimately not something I have to take seriously.

Because if someone says something that doesn’t feel true — like “You’re selfish” or “You’re a failure” or “You’re not good enough” — I’ve learned to treat it like they just said, “You’re from Mars.”

Smile. Nod. Let it float away.

Because it doesn’t change the fact that I know who I am.
(Or at least… I mostly do. As much as any Earthling can.)

But here’s the catch — and the quiet magic of it all:
Even the things I believe about myself — even the “facts” like “I’m Icelandic” — are still stories I carry. Stories I was told. Stories I chose to believe.

So if someone says something and I agree — great.
If they say something and I don’t — also great.
Either way, I’m not letting random comments rewrite my story.

Because maybe I am a Martian.
Maybe I’m not.
Maybe none of us are quite what we think — and that’s okay.

We’re all just trying to figure it out.
So the next time someone tells you who you are, pause for a moment.
Run it through the Martian Test.
And if it doesn’t fit?

Just shrug, eat a snack, and carry on.